Merry Christmas and Happy New year! Wow, it’s hard to believe another year has come and gone….

You know, Sept to Dec is my favorite time of year. Jan to April not so much. It’s now that I begin to wonder why I live in Michigan instead of Florida 🙂

 (I’m only semi kidding)

We had a great time with both my little sister who was able to come home and the CT VanHaitsma clan. The pic on the right is of the two little “troublemakers.” About 6 weeks apart and stinkin’ adorable together!
Ever since last summer when my father-in-law passed away I feel like I’ve been trying to find my footing again. Events in the fall and even the beloved Christmas season brought those feelings painfully back to the surface. I was sharply reminded that I am not in charge or in control of my life or anyone else’s for that matter.
Obviously if I could have had my way my father-in-law would have lived a much longer healthier life and my kids would have many memories of him. He’d be at Christmas, Thanksgivings, birthdays, weddings… But God had a different plan.
Honestly, most days I don’t like to think about the fact that I’m not in control. I pretend I am and that gives me peace and security bc then nothing else bad can happen to me or my family…
Until I hear or read about something terrible that occurred and my illusion of control is shattered and I realize again how shaky my footing really is.
I was struggling with this one Sunday and telling Bry “I am anxious, worried, terrified even! I feel like I have no solid place to put my feet bc I’m not in control!!!” Well, that Sunday God had a message for me. The very first song we sang started with these words “I am not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned. I only know at His right hand stands One who is my Savior.” The rest of the songs then continued this theme of God and His faithfulness.
Left to myself I have no firm footing. No solid ground on which to put my feet, to rest, no reason to have peace in this world. But when I recall to mind the God with whom I am in Covenant – well, there is a reason for peace and even hope. 
Bc He is faith-ful even though I am all too often faith-less. He is a righteous God, faithful to His Covenant and His Covenantal people. I am on solid ground bc I stand on Him.
I am still not in control, that has not changed and that will not change. But thankfully, the God who is faithful is in control. And He is a good God. He is the Rock on which I stand.