It is commonly said that “largest sexual organ is your brain…” And this is so true.

I’d like to recommend a great book called Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting our Children.  Authored by Joe McIlhaney MD and Freda McKissic Bush MD. 2008. (Joe McIlhaney founded The Medical Institute for Sexual Healthy in ’92 to study the science of human sexual behavior and its consequences.)

This is a book my children will read before they begin to date. It’s that relevant in my opinion.

Now, this book makes several claims which it then quickly backs up. Did you know you do not need to be touched to be stimulated or even have an orgasm. Actually the brain is where a huge part of the sexual act takes place and if the brain is stimulated enough the body responds. 

Without any other inducement. 

Think about wet dreams and boys. Nothing physical has happened, it all occurred in the brain and yet the body responds. Keep that in mind these next few blogs.

The brain is a muscle and like any good muscle it can be trained by either good or bad activities. And there are two chemicals in your brain that help to train it.

Two Chemicals You Should Know

First off Dopamine. Dopamine makes you feel good and it gets released when you do something exciting or something that needs to be rewarded. There’s a whole lot of Dopamine in the brain after sex. Not only does sex feel good it makes your brain feel good which makes you feel really good.

Second is Oxytocin. This chemical creates a strong bond between the woman and whatever has caused this chemical to be released. No surprise it occurs right before and after labor (which is why so many women don’t ‘remember’ the pain of labor once they hold that baby) and in the beginning when you nurse. This is a huge blessing and immediately bonds the mother to her new baby so that even after one second that momma would take a bullet for her new child.

Oxytocin is also released during sex and when a woman orgasms. It binds the woman to the man who is causing her to feel these things. It creates a strong desire for more – more of the same touch and more time with that man. Just think about how many women have struggled to leave men that abuse them and why. This chemical is powerful and creates a life-long bond, it’s way more than just a feeling for the woman. And the pain of separation is just as painful as the bond was powerful. 

Why Is This Important?

1. Sex was created to be an enjoyable experience for both the man and the woman! Your brain and these chemicals were specifically designed by God to bless and help with the sexual experience. 

2. Bc of these chemicals sex can create a powerful bond in the marriage when used correctly.

3. Bc of these chemicals your brain actually works to keep you connected to your spouse. God is very wise and knew sex would sometimes be difficult even in the best of marriages, especially for the woman. Let’s be honest, life happens. You get tired, cranky, stressed, feel distant or angry at your spouse… Sex is not the first thing on the mind. Isn’t it nice to know your body, specifically your brain, works to keep you coming back for more.

When we work together with our bodies sex, our brain, these chemicals all become a huge blessing! It’s when we work against the way we were made that things fall apart. Way apart. And this is where things begin to turn ugly. Check back in 2 days for Part 2.