Part 4: Porn Plus
50 Shades of Grey… what’s the big deal?
Based on the definition given earlier this book is porn. That should be enough to make us walk away but since it obviously isn’t, let’s get a glimpse of what’s actually in the book.
Ever heard of BDSM? Be thankful if you don’t.
BDSMis anan acronym for bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. In other words, the books’ “hero” enjoys tying his partner up, dominating her, and inflicting pain. And this is apparently described in detail in the book.
The “hero” in the book gets turned on by hurting the heroine, causing her great pain. And she is the one who decides how much pain is too much. He’ll give her as much as she can handle.
I don’t want my son to grow up thinking that the way to treat a woman is by hurting her. Show your momma you love her, son, and belt her a good one! I don’t want my daughters to think that a real man is one who causes their hearts to break and their bodies to bleed over and over again.
I want my son to know that real love is sacrificial and means cherishing the woman you love and treating her like a precious jewel. I want my daughters to know that they are valuable and should be treated accordingly and if a man won’t treat them like a precious treasure, then they run in the opposite direction bc that’s not a man that’s a boy in a man’s body.
If Christian Grey wasn’t quite so wealthy, attractive, young, and dashing, I wonder if his actions wouldn’t be quite so appealing. What if the ‘hero’ were slightly older, a bit over weight, and made enough to pay his bills but no more? Would we see it as ok that he physically abuses this woman? I’m guessing no.
50 Shades of Grey is dangerous in all its forms (book or movie.)
  1. It can bond you to a book/movie instead of your spouse
  2. It gives you sexual satisfaction from a fantasy instead of reality
  3. It creates a standard that no one can attain (and in this case definitely shouldn’t try)
  4. AND it takes something that is abnormal and makes it normal,
  5. Something that is completely unhealthy and portrays it as healthy,
  6. Something that is dangerous and makes it fun,
  7. Acts that are painful and makes them sexual,
  8. It takes dark and disturbing fantasy and portrays it as safe and healthy reality
This isn’t just porn anymore. This is porn plus. And if you start it you will be left wanting more.
One “extramarital affair dating site” actually acknowledged an increase in membership and in those wanting to try a little BDSM. And the reason for both these increases according to the members themselves … reading 50 Shades of Grey.
Reality or Fantasy: Dream or Nightmare
50 Shades of Grey is actually the first part in a trilogy. A trilogy where at the end the hero and the heroine end up happily married. By the end Christian Grey (the ‘hero’) has finally given up his need to inflict pain on the woman he loves and he grows into a wonderful husband and loving dad. Every woman’s dream come true.
But is that even close to reality?
What I find unsettling is that in Christian Grey I see the attributes of so many of the men I’ve written about over the years, the ones who abuse and sometimes even end up murdering their intimate partners. Experts have said for decades that rape is more about control than sex. What I’ve seen over and over again is that a man who needs to dominate, humiliate, and physically abuse a woman isn’t a hero. He’s not doing it out of love. That guy isn’t the man of any woman’s dreams. He’s a mistake, one she won’t end up rehabilitating but fleeing.”
Why Did I Write These Blogs?
1 – for those of you who don’t read erotic fiction I’m hoping to keep you from ever starting, and when friends ask why you won’t read 50 Shades of Grey or see the movie now you have a real answer to give them
2 – For those of you who are willing to admit you’re struggling with it and you want to quit bc you know it’s not healthy or good – I want to encourage you I’ve been there, talk to me, talk to someone you trust and respect before it destroys your marriage or your life

3 – For those who think I’m full of hot air – I’m hoping you’ll go home and do your own research and check in to this subject yourself. And maybe, just maybe you’ll think twice before you pick up the next book or go see the film.