I just wanted to share some more good news today. A regular blog will be coming next week.
I turned 16 weeks on Saturday. We lost Shiloh at 16 weeks. I won’t attempt to deny the emotions and anxiety that have been running through me.
Would this be my last week pregnant?
Will I end up in the hospital again giving birth?
Is this baby already dead?
But sometimes being reminded of simple truth helps in amazing ways.
I was sitting at home journaling/praying to God acknowledging, once again, all my fears and concerns. Wondering if He was even listening when the phone rang. It was a friend calling to check in on me and pray with me.
“No matter what happens God will carry you.”
“It’s not your responsibility to walk this out on your own. You’re right, you’re not strong enough.”
“God loves this little one more than you do. But He loves you just as much. He’s got you both.”
I got off the phone and cried. God heard me. This amazing Creator, Lord of the Universe had heard the cries of this momma’s heart. He was listening. And He cared.
From that point on I felt peace. Real actual wonderful peace. I still had no clue what the week held, but I was at peace. And for the moment – that was enough.
Then my appt yesterday. Bryan came with me, just in case. Either way I knew I’d be a basket case 🙂
The dr. found the heartbeat right away. No waiting, no wondering. It was right there. Strong and steady. The baby even kicked while we were listening. I could have shouted to the heavens.
The baby is alive and healthy. Praise the Lord. I can even feel small movement. How sweet it is.
What a journey this has been. The last 7 mos has been a crazy ride and in some respects I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The emotional struggles, the highs and the lows, the wondering, worrying, praying, crying… and it’s not over yet.
As Bry put it “I feel like we’ve run a marathon just to get to this point and the baby has 5 more mos yet!”
Thanks for ALL the prayers and comments as we walk this journey out. God alone knows what He has in store for our family and this little one. But for today, I am at peace … finally. And thankful this little one has a heartbeat.