Children are a blessing from the Lord (rough rendering of Ps 127:3-5)
I’ve been saying that to myself a lot lately. Why? Because I’m pregnant with baby number 5.
Am I crazy? Probably. I already feel overwhelmed with 4 so what am I thinking?
I’m thinking that my husband would desperately love another baby. I’m thinking that the first command in all of Scripture is to “be fruitful and multiply.” I’m thinking that this means having another child we can raise up to know and love Jesus and show others what an amazing God He is.
I’m thinking, “children are a blessing from the Lord” so who wouldn’t want another blessing?
Believe me, I am very aware this is a blessing I don’t deserve. Nope, I don’t have it all together. And no, I am not raising my children so well that, of course God would bless us with another. Trust me, there are many times I see moms who seem to be doing a way better job then I am. Having more kids does not mean I’m a better mom. It just means this is the path God’s chosen for my family and specifically for me.
And I am very aware I’m going to need a lot of grace and strength… (and chocolate) to survive the next couple years.
Yes, we do home school and that means life is even more crazy and insane because we’re all home. A.L.L. T.H.E. T.I.M.E. Yep, our house feels small. The kids get underfoot. My husband occasionally has to remind us that he needs it a little quieter at times. But does that mean we’re not suppose to have another one? Just because it’s tight and loud and crazy? I don’t think so.
I’ve been struggling with how to tell people I’m pregnant again because our culture doesn’t necessarily see children as a blessing, more like an inconvenience.
And I can already hear the comments and see the looks. I feel like wearing a sign that says:
– Yes we are crazy
– I realize life is about to get absolutely insane
– Yes, I know how babies happen
– Yes, I know I may have a breakdown or two before every single child is out of the house
But are we supposed to stop just because it’s hard? Maybe this is one way God has chosen to conform me to the image of His Son. Motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done. Daily it tests my patience, my strength, it shows me my selfishness and irritability, it constantly pushes me and more often than not causes me to say, “God, I’m done! I can’t do this anymore! I need You!”
And maybe that’s partly the point.
So, if you happen to see me this year with bags under my eyes, my hair not done, and that glazed-over, tired look in my eyes, don’t worry. Give me a year or two and I’ll be ok 🙂