(Since we just celebrated Mother’s Day…)
This seemed like a good time to acknowledge how thankful I am for my own mother, and to admit how incredibly hard I have found motherhood to be.
In many ways my mom made it seem effort-less. She always had the answer, even when I didn’t ask the question ;). She kept a close strong relationship with me even through some semi-difficult years on my part. And I can remember almost every morning in high school waking up, getting ready for school, and finding her sitting on the couch spending time with Jesus before her day began. Consistent, steady, faithful and passionate are a few words that come to mind when I think of my own mom. I can truly rise up and call her blessed.
But being in these shoes myself I am realizing how terrifying an adventure this can be. There are no assurances my children will end up ok. As much as I long to I can’t make my children believers. I can’t shield them from disappointments and painful situations. I can’t make life smooth and easy for them.
I have learned that most days I am guessing as to what the right answer is in almost every situation, and I am rarely ever sure I am doing this thing called motherhood well. I can’t begin to recount the list of mistakes I have made, the extended periods of selfishness and foolishness I have had, or even the amount of anger and irritation with which I have struggled.
And again and again I have to remind myself and my children that we serve a God who is so much better parenting than I am.
And I am so thankful.
He is never impatient. He is never irritable. He doesn’t make mistakes, indeed He is able to use my many mistakes in the lives of my children. He doesn’t promise and easy road but He does promise to hold us through it. He knows exactly what to do in every situation. He never guesses as to the right answer. He is faithful, just, and true. He is always listening, always available, never too busy or too self-centered to care. A good, faithful, and loving Father. And I am so thankful I have Someone bigger, stronger, perfect who I can point my children towards.
BC this momma fails and makes mistakes. But our God never fails, and He never makes mistakes. You can’t always count on me. I’m a human being as imperfect as they come. But you can always count on God. He is not a man. He is not like us. He is God, and He is a good God.
I am in the same boat in feeling this way right now. It IS a huge relief that God's got a plan. He knows what will happen. =)
Ashley, God's grace and strength has been so evident in all you've been through and how you are doing!!! You have amazed me woman 🙂
And praise the Lord He does have a plan 🙂