You would think I would know this already. This shouldn’t be a surprise. I feel a bit like an idiot to be honest.
We have been having some rough moments in the VanHaitsma household lately. My attitude has been struggling in terms of my parenting skills. There are days when I feel like all I do is harp on my kids. “Do this.. Do that…. Why didn’t you do… Why did you do….? Say please. Say Thank you!”
Mom guilt is a terrible thing.
Then one day I was reminded – if I want my kids to do, I need to do it first.
How did I forget that?
If I want my kids to say thank you, I need to sincerely thank them for what they do.
If I want my kids to have a good attitude around the house, I need to have a good attitude around the house.
If I want my kids to encourage each other, I need to encourage them.
Duh right 🙂 You’d think, but it hit me so hard.
I can encourage my husband and my friends with the best of them, but my kids… for some reason I never saw them as needing much encouragement. Sad isn’t it.
I’ve actually started praying God will make the changes in me that I want to see in my kids.
Yes, training is still a part of parenting – there’s no getting around that but I’m trying to do it differently. I’m trying every day to tell my kids ‘thank you for helping mom in the kitchen. Thank you for obeying quickly…’ I’m trying every day to compliment them and tell them what they are doing well, not just what they are doing wrong.
Encouragement. How can I encourage my kids daily? What positives do I see in them? I don’t want to be blind to the negatives. My children are not perfect and definitely need training and discipline but that doesn’t mean it has to be negative all the time. Maybe they’ll respond to the training better if its positive. Maybe their attitudes will be better if mine is. I want to have a good relationship with my kids. I want them to know I am on their side and cheering for them, not waiting for them to screw up so I can snap.
I actually have put several notes around my house stating “encourage your children!” to help remind me. And I’m guessing I’m not the only one who can use this reminder 🙂 Encourage your children today. Even if it’s just for one thing – tell them good job, thank you, I appreciate you. It’s amazing how those little words can make a big difference.
I’ve already seen it in my house.